Journey to Freedom:my week with ellies (lots of words.lots of photos)

Herein lies the tales of my adventure of spending a week in the relative wilds of Northern Thailand.

Me standing reluctantly close to one of the elephants upon our guides insistence to get closer.
 Clearly I am terrified.

A two hour jostling ride cramped into the back of a pick-up truck is not how many people imagine spending their winter holiday, myself included.
Yet there I was stuffed into the bed of a Toyota Hilux with a sore bum alongside twelve other road weary travelers being informed by our guide that we had another 30 minutes of bum bruising back roads to bounce through before arriving at our destination. That very destination that we would later find out consisted of cold showers, modest lodgings, a lack of electricity, one seriously out of service Western toilet, and a handful of muddy squat toilets to compensate.
What could possibly be the allure that would draw thirteen relative strangers away from the comforts of their everyday lives to spend a week experiencing and participating in what can accurately be called the simple life? Well the answer, much like our accommodations, is simple; the thirteen of us traveled to this back hills village along the Thai-Burmese border to volunteer our time working with  the Northern Karen tribe and their elephants through the program Journey to Freedom.

Journey to Freedom is an ongoing project initiated by the Elephant Nature Park in 2010 that allows elephants owned by the Karen in the north of Thailand to retire from trekking camps and return to living in the jungle near their villages. Here, elephants enjoy a more natural existence and the tradition of Karen people living with and caring for their elephants can be restored.
In response to the ban on logging in 1989, many Karen men left their villages and walked with their elephants to work in one of the many trekking camps that were established and still exist in Northern Thailand. The Karen men often missed their families and old way of life and would return to their villages, leaving their elephants at the camps on lease. These elephants, living among strangers, were often mistreated and the traditional bonds between the Karen and their elephants began to erode.
Journey to Freedom provides volunteers with the opportunity to live with the Karen for a week, learn about their culture, volunteer around the village, and be amongst elephants living in the jungle. Funds generated by this project help support Karen families and their elephants, and also benefit the community in the form of maintaining roads, temples, and bridges, which also includes building amenities such as toilets, a small school, and a clinic.


Day One: Arrival
This day, as hinted at above, was mostly spent traveling from Chiang Mai to the Karen village in the northern province of Mae Sariang, which took about 6.5 hours in total-4.5 by van and 2 by truck. We arrived in the village shortly before 6 and after our arduous adventure our only interests were in getting some food and some sleep. After unloading the trucks of all our provisions for the week, our two guides, Jane and Mix (their nicknames) worked on preparing us a delicious yet modest Thai dinner while we went about preparing our lodgings (making up beds, and setting up mosquito nets). After dinner, while sitting by the fire (it gets surprisingly cold in Northern Thailand at night, my guess is high 50's-low 60's.) a few of the local Karen villagers came to welcome us. Although they didn't speak English, and only a few of them could speak Thai (to be translated by our guides) they enjoyed sitting around the campfire and observing the eclectic  assortment of volunteers (from France, US, Malaysia via Singapore, UK, and Germany ;ordered by representation) which included two girls wearing Santa hats and odd renderings of popular Christmas songs being sung all at once in multiple languages (it was Christmas Eve after all).

Some of the Karen amused at our antics

Day Two and Three: First day with Ellies and a Boxing Day Treat
It was a little surreal to be waking up on Christmas Day feeling all of the giddy excitement of a little kid, but instead of the urge to rush to the Christmas tree and tear open presents my emotions were the result of knowing that today was the day I would get to have my very first encounter with elephants.I don't think I have ever been so excited to NOT celebrate the holidays. The only thing that could (and did) bring me down slightly from my euphoric high was the sight of the accursed trucks from the day before. So my (Christmas) day yet again began  with a bumpy ride, thank goodness it was a very short ride where we then hiked through some fields and across a small stream to meet up with the elephants and their caretakers.

Our village cares for 7 elephants, 3 of which had spent time working for the logging industry before it was banned, 1 who had worked for a trekking camp before Journey to Freedom started and she could come home, and 3 youngsters who had been spared from the harsh lifestyle of a working elephant and hopefully will never be subjected to it. For awhile we had to stay a fair distance away from the elephants, because they aren't used to people other than their mahouts. One thing that is unique to the Elephant Nature Park and Journey to Freedom is that the mahouts do not use any hooks to control the elephants nor do they ride upon the elephants backs (although for one of the younger/rambunctious elephants at the village we were told that the Mahouts do sometimes have to gently tap him on the head with a bamboo stalk. At ENP only positive reinforcement is used with the elephants). However, after sometime we were able to get closer to the elephants (following the mahouts instructions translated to us by our guides) and even touch and feed them fruits that we had brought along from the village! After spending time admiring and taking photos of the elephants it was time to walk them deep into the jungle for them to graze, explore, and bathe a bit in the springs along the trek.

As much as I like to refer to these elephants as being "in the wild", this statement is sadly untrue due to the high rate of deforestation in Thailand. Even though logging was banned in the late  80's there are still illegal logging outfits running in the outskirts of Thailand and the addition of population growth does not make the prospects of a solution to deforestation look any brighter. This being said, while the elephants do have the opportunity to roam free during the day (they have these cute little wooden bells on their necks so the mahouts can find them) they are confined to a small section of the jungle during the evening (when the mahouts return to their home) to prevent the elephants from eating the crops that belong to another nearby village. It was a little disheartening to learn of the reality that actual wild elephants in Thailand are dwindling, but it was also nice to know that through Journey to Freedom these elephants can live a life much closer to their natural lifestyle versus working in Elephants shows or at trekking camps. My current hope is that the King of Thailand will continue to create National forests and nature preserves to protect these animals and their habitat.

The following day, we spent at the village helping out in the small ways that we could. In the morning we went to one of the local primary schools in the main village. Initially, the plan had been to visit a primary/secondary school and assist with teaching some English and entertaining the kids (teaching in Japan has taught me that these two go hand in hand). But, that school was on holiday so instead we went to the primary school and played with the young children (about 4/5 years old, some were younger). One of the volunteers had brought small toys along to give to the children and it was really cute to see their faces light up.
After a little over an hour we walked back to the community where we were staying and prepared some lunch (one of the kind French volunteers even gave me a  really nice bum massage).  Once we had finished our lunch it was on to more toilsome work of peeling corn with the villagers. Some of the corn would be used as feed for their livestock and the rest for making flour. While the work felt a little tedious it was really fun to watch as everyone would freak out about some bug or spider that would come crawling out of the corn husk. I'm pretty sure the villagers thought we were crazy.

One of the friendly Karen villagers I met. His wife thought that I was feeling sick and offered me some strange looking medicine. Our guides explained it was because she thought I wasn't eating enough.

Day Four and Five: More Elephants and a Jungle Trip to a Waterfall
After a day of no elephants we were all excited to hear that the next two days we would be able to head back into the jungle to spend time with our favorite pachyderms. On this particular day we would be traveling by trucks (urrrgh) to a separate village to spend time with their elephants. Thankfully, I was able to snag a seat inside the truck to avoid any major bum bruising that would render my massage from the other day completely pointless. On the 30 minute drive we stopped a few times to collect a small banana tree and some bamboo shoots to bring along with us to feed the elephants. The 2 elephants that belonged to this tribe had both spent a lot of time working at trekking camps (the female) and at an elephant show (male). Which meant that they were very accustomed to humans and thus extremely sweet and docile, this also unfortunately meant that they had been subjected to Phajaan (a brutal elephant training technique) at a young age. Almost all working elephants go through Phajaan, which is one major reason why any informed tourist would/should not finance any attractions that involve elephant rides or elephants doing tricks.
After spending time taking photos with the elephants we then walked with them to the top of a mountain, again, to give them a chance to really stretch their legs, explore, and graze.

The male elephant was so comfortable with people that he was more than content
 being handfed and swiping fruits right out of our hands. Tamara (France)

The following day started out with much of the same but with the elephants back near our village, so I won't talk much about it. But one interesting highlight was that the young rambunctious male elephant charged at one of the young Karen boys. Our guide explained to us that it was because the boy looked different to everyone else (he was shirtless because he had been fishing in one of the streams nearby previously).  After spending a good two hours with the elephants we went on an hour and a half long trek with the Karen to a waterfall hidden away in the jungle. It was an interesting hike because along the way when we would pass through the river some of the Karen villagers would start fishing. While most of the older Karen villagers accompanying us would use the familiar tactic of using a net to catch fish, the two young boys would use these interesting homemade contraptions to do something along the lines of spear fishing.

Subrutai (in red) and Midar.
 Mix threatening to throw poor Suprichai into the waterfall.

Usually, on the sixth day, volunteers would visit the third neighboring village and their elephants before heading to the ENP, but because we were visiting so close to the New Year we had to leave early in the morning to avoid heavy traffic on the way back into Chiang Mai. And, again I was thankfully able to secure a seat inside one of the trucks, so I wouldn't have to spend 2 hours sitting in the back again!  After our 6 hour drive we were rewarded at the Elephant Nature Park with warm showers, proper toilets, and a bed with as decent a mattress you'll find in SE Asia. Maybe a later post will talk more about my day at the ENP, for now I think it is time to wrap this one up..

Although the squat toilets and cold showers were less than ideal, I really enjoyed the time I spent volunteering with the Karen and their elephants. In retrospect, I was a bit surprised that we weren't given more tasks to help out in the village. Other than peeling some corn, a missed opportunity of teaching some English, and walking with elephants and collecting some food we had very little responsibilities. Regardless, I was really pleased with the experience and would really love to go back again sometime. So, if you like adventures,  love elephants, and don't mind spending a week living the simple life,  I highly recommend Journey to Freedom.

Keri

In hindsight-afteruploading photos to this post- I've realized I didn't get any photos of the rambunctious boy elephant. Probably because I was too scared to get anywhere near him. All the other elephants at our main village are females.

L-R Jessica (US via Myannmar) and Thibaut and  Alia (France)

enjoying the fire.

Our guide Mix showing us the art of Zen

blurry photo of Momma and baby sniffing for goodies

Me with Buzo (spelled how it sounds) one of the kind Karen women who liked chatting with me-
she would speak to me in Karen and I in English. Probably on completely different topics.

Suprichai on the left chuckling and snacking with his friend.

Midar and I. She could speak some English.
 I usually started the morning by doing dishes with her, subrutai, and their brothers.

Me with the twin ellie girls (2 years old).  

AEIOUy: Awesome Event In Oshima, Umm, Yay!

aka I <3 Oshima

Hello Readers!
I think most of you know that initially (and most of the time) my relationship with my JET placement in Oshima was/is pure ambivalence. As time has worn on, I can`t say that our relationship status has necessarily changed, it is still somewhat along the lines of love-hate. But the most important thing is that I have learned amongst all the drawbacks of living on a small rural island I really do love Oshima.

As my past blog posts can attest I haven`t spent a majority of my free time in Oshima. Instead on the weekends I like to get off the island to socialize with friends. And so this past weekend I aimed to remedy that by inviting as many of my ALT friends to Oshima to enjoy the beauty of the island as well as get in some socializing. This event entailed enjoying some of the most amazing/awesome things that Oshima has to offer.
The event kicked off on Saturday evening around 5:30 and raged on until around 3:00 Sunday. Here are some of the highlights.

Cafe Misaki
After everyone made the long trek across Yamaguchi, their hungry bellies were rewarded with the delicious curries available at Cafe Misaki. Cafe Misaki is one of my favorite restaurants on Oshima. The food is delicious, the owner is very friendly, and the view from the restaurant is breathtaking!

The lovely Cafe Misaki (and me too!)
P.C. of Amber Brice

At Cafe Misaki!
P.C. of Kanae

Socializing
After dinner and dropping of our belongings at Matthew (Oshima`s highschool ALT) we all took a small hike up a mountain/hill to view one of the large Golden Buddha statues. Unfortunately by the time we got to the top the flood lights were turned off. But we did get a great view of all of the stars. One of the nice
things about living in the countryside, very little light pollution.
After our small hike we returned to Matthew`s to have some drinks, snacks, and gaming (Mario kart, Micheal Jackson Experience, Super Smash Brothers, nerdy card games i.e. San Juan and Dominion, and of course a riveting dirty nasty round of Never Have I Ever).

Awesome Yamaguchi ALTs!

My co-worker Kanae and her friends came too!

Oshima Nature
After a wild night of drinks and socializing Matthew and I woke our friends bright and early to enjoy some of the beauty of Oshima. Originally we had hoped to climb the wonderful Mt. Dake, but after a hard night of partying we could see many of our friends were not up for the challenge. So instead after a delicious breakfast cooked up by Matthew we piled into our cars and drove to one of the many beautiful beaches on Oshima to relax and soak up some sun.

Walking over to a nice little alcove in the bay.

Awesome ALT steph was the first brave soul to venture
into the semi-chilly water. 

 Buddha and Sculpture Garden
After enjoying the beach and hopefully getting a slight sun tan we next ventured to the super awesome Oshima Sculpture Garden and Buddha. This sight-seeing spot is tucked away on the opposite island from where Matthew and I live. I only happened to chance upon it because one of my elementary schools is located nearby. After a chance venture in March, I fell in love with the quaint ad quirky atmosphere. On the first glance it looks really traditional with the shrine and Buddha. But as you move deeper into the sculpture garden you see that it really is a quirky semi commercial semi traditional sculpture garden. Some of the more odd sculptures that can be seen in the garden are ultraman, evee (and other pokemon), as well as the Tootsie Pop owl.

Awesome ALT Erez LOVES
Oshima and the Awesome sculpture garden!

What a serene scene!

Oshima may have some faults but overall it really is a beautiful place and I am really lucky to have been placed here! Friends, please feel free to come and visit!!! There is plenty of crash space at my apartment. <3 <3 <3

In other news, I successfully managed to obtain my Japanese Drivers License in one try! Yippie!
And, in August Oshima will have a 3rd ALT! I know who she is, but I think it is still meant to be a bit of a secret, although my supervisor gave me the ok to send her a welcome email in the coming days!

Also, my uncle recently sent me an email asking how the new school year has been going (post all those crazy musical chairs school&teacher edition) and so one of my upcoming posts will likely talk about this!

Until Next Time!

Keri

P.S.

Here is where I`ve started to post all (or nearly all of my photos) that don`t have space to make it into my blog posts. http://www.flickr.com/photos/keri-berry/

Tsuwano horse archery!

Hi guys!
So today I am again making good on my promise of `Things to look forward to` and posting about my visit to Tsuwano and watching traditional Japanese やぶさめ or horseback archery. Before I write about my adventures in Tsuwano I figured I should first dedicate some time to posting a little bit about the background of Yabusame.!

Yabusame is a form of ritualized mounted archery that arose as a form of offering to the gods of Japan, who in turn would grant prosperity and victory to the Japanese people. Zen Buddhism was a major factor in refining and evolving the form of mounted archery used in battle into the more spiritually based form of Yabusame. As a form of martial art, Yabusame helped warriors learn concentration and discipline. The addition of Zen taught breathing techniques taught one to stabilize the mind and body which provided the archer with clarity and focus. This combination enabled practitioners to calmly draw ones bow, aim and shoot accurately in the heat of battle. To do this successfully was considered to be the mark of a true samurai who had mastered his training and fear. 

Ready you are. 

Because of the spiritual nature of Yabusame, most matches are held at Shinto shrines. At the beginning of every match a ceremony is performed, in which the priest blesses both horses and riders. In the match,the archer gallops down a 250-meter long track, using his or her knees to control the horse while drawing the bow, which measures about the same height as the rider. When reaching the target the archer then aims, and with a deep chant of In-Yo-In-Yo (darkness and light), fires. The sound made by the arrow hitting the target is almost as important as the the riders` accuracy. The explosion created in the strike is traditionally believed to transfer the archers` courage to the spectators.

(This is just a brief summarization, if you want to learn more about Yabusame click here, or visit your local library)

So, on April 8th, fellow Yamaguchi ALT`s Brad and Jessica decided that we would drive from Yamaguchi City to Tsuwano (in Shimane prefecture) to see the annual Yabusame ceremony which is held on the 2nd Sunday of April. So we piled into my car and made the slow long trek. Due to a bit of a late start we ended up missing the first Yabusame match that was held at 11a.m., but thankfully there was a second match that would begin at 2pm. So we used that time to explore the grounds, nom on some nomz, and run into other fellow Yamaguchi ALT`s! 

Look! We found Wayne, Sarah, and Matt!

And Brad nomming on some chicken on a stick.

I used this time to stalk and photograph the really awesome yabusame archers!

Just before 2pm we decided to line up near the track so we could get a decent spot, near the third andfinal target, to photograph and watch all the action. We ended up standing near an older Japanese couple who were pretty adept at understanding English and chuckled at the odd conversation that we crazy foreigners were having behind them. 

And then began the really long wait. We knew that there would be some sort of opening ceremony but we weren`t aware of just how long and elaborate it would be. For the most part we couldn`t see the blessing ritual and so we were a little confused about what was taking so long for the ceremony to start. Eventually, when our patience was wearing a little thin, as we were short on time, the judges, horses, and archers walked down along the length of the track in a parade (subdued) like manner, and then the matches began!

We didn`t get to watch the entire match because we needed to start heading home. But we did manage to snap a few successful photos (those horses are really fast!), and see a few successful strikes of the target. Before leaving Tsuwano we decided to wander a little bit around the center of Tsuwano to admire the cherry blossoms, the huge koi and the generally nice weather.

Koi swimming around along the avenues of Tsuwano.

The Tsuwano and the horse archery were really cool to see, I think I`ll go again next year. Also there is a steam train that runs from Yamaguchi city to Tsuwano during the more pleasant weathered months, I`m thinking maybe I will ride it sometime, I`ve heard that it is supposed to be really scenic. So we`ll see!
Until next time!!!

Lo Lo Lo La Lola!

You can tell I`m not particularly motivated to write a blog when I give it a uninspired title (actually I changed the title, this new title is inspired) and fill it with lots (lots) of pictures.

So, today since I am not in a particularly blog writing motivated sort of mood I figured I may as well make good on my promise from my past posts regarding `Things to Look Forward to:` and post some pictures from my trip down to Nagasaki and maybe add some commentary. So let`s have at it!


Okay, so here is a map of Japan. Note that I used high technology to illustrate my start point (Oshima) my destination (Nagasaki) and the Oregon trail that I traveled across to get to the land of milk and honey (and goldfish lanterns, wait can`t I just see those in Yanai????) Now, how about you have a guess as to how long it took me to get from the island of Awesome to the land of lanterns (distance: about 244 miles). Think about it.



Now let me relate to you a little anecdote. Yesterday I was at my Eikaiwa (adult english conversation class) and we were each taking turns talking about where we want to travel to and why. After listening to my students (?) tell me that they wanted to go to Singapore, Germany, Mt. Fuji, and America, it was my turn to tell them where I want to go. And so I said that the place I most want to visit is New Zealand,and geeking out about how lord of the rings was filmed there, the hobbit is being filmed there and it is gorgeous (not to mention I want to be a kiwi)! Anyway, maybe you are wondering what this story has to do with Nagasaki, and why I am including it in this post, well I`m getting to it so be patient. After that my students began talking about how New Zealand is really beautiful and they have nice weather (in the summer season) but then they told me, `Keri, New Zealand is so far! Maybe it is 10 hours by plane.` then pause. `But, maybe it isn`t so bad, after all it took almost 5 hours(!!!!!!!!) for you to go to Nagasaki (I had told them about my trip during our last class). But, yes. A nice 244 mile trek took me nearly 5 hours! Worst.Ever!

Anway, I guess it was worth it (see: it really was worth it but I am still bitching about the distance).

Alright, (I`m feeling a bit more blogging motivated, probably from the bitching) so it was kind of a spur of the moment idea to go to Nagasaki. A friend had clued me into the Lantern Festival and a quick glance at the google images results peeked my interest. So after about a week of debating the question `To go or not to go (that is the question)` I found out that Taylor, a girl from my prefecture was planning to go down, and also my friend Jasmine (who lives on a manini island off of Nagasaki) was also planning to make the trip. So, with that I figured why the hell not, and packed my bags, booked a hostel, and bought some train tickets.
4.5 hours later:

Awesomeness!!!!!!



So that evening Taylor, and I and my new friends Joel and Larissa (ALT`s from Kumamoto) ventured around taking photos of lanterns and lit up creature like lantern things. We also ate some questionable Chinese food (to celebrate a belated Chinese New Year), visited a shady American bar with even shadier bartenders, and got lost in the pleasure district (or so I dubbed it) and ate more food.




Taylor, Larissa, and I hanging out with a deranged Panda.
(Photo courtesy of Awesome Kumamoto JET Joel)




Year of the dragon!!!!

The next morning I woke up fairly early to meet my friend Jasmine and her super awesome Nagasaki ALT friends at the train station.
But, before they could appear I saw the most AMAZING/AWESOME boy ever!


Seriously, this kid is like a quarter of my age and already 100000000 times cooler than I will ever be!

Anyway, after meeting up with Jasmine and her friends we made our way to the Nagasaki Peace Park.




This monument symbolizes the hypocenter of the bomb drop. I like the concentric circles that radiate out from the center, it was an interesting visual representation.

After meandering about the peace park we made our way over to China Town to check out all the festivities and admire the lanterns. :D







Pig heads, but why?


Am I back in Yanai?????


Jasmine and I being genki tourists in Japan!


The lanterns were really awesome, and well worth a trip (nearly 5 hours!!!!!) to Nagasaki. But the reason for a return visit: Lola!

Who is Lola? Only the most awesome amazing D-List celebrity in all of Japan!!!! After enjoying the lanterns The Awesome Nagasaki JET`s and I went to Lola`s awesome/crazy/amazing karaoke bar. Too. Much. Fun. I think you have to go there to really understand how awesome this place is! P.S. Before we left Lola gave all of us a signed headshot!!! Amaze! (It is hanging on my wall!)


The super fun Nagasaki JET`s and I enjoying Almas` and Owain`s rendition of Park Life. Nagasaki is well worth another visit just to see these awesome people again too!
(Photo courtesy of Awesome Nagasaki JET Karl)


Ali, Lola, and I. Isn`t he something.
(Photo courtesy of Awesome Nagasaki JET Ali)

My life as a 20-something single living in Japan: Experiments in dating

That last one basically sums up the New Year resolution of any foreigner teaching English in Japan.
(Photo courtesy of Ciaran. Resolution courtesy of one of his students)


Dating tends to be a pretty hot topic of conversation amongst foreigners who have spent a significant period of time living, working, or studying in Japan. Usually these topics fall into a few different categories. 1) (and maybe the most popular) the anomaly of pale, scrawny, bearded (unattractive) dudes dating gorgeous Japanese babes. It seems to be that Japanese girls are crazy for a foreigner boyfriend. Or else they have a bit of a twisted perception of foreign guys (see comic below). 2) That foreign guys have it extremely easy and we ladies are SOL because Japanese guys seemed to have 0 interest in foreign girls. 3) Being a foreigner girl in Japan sucks because the Japanese guys wont bother with you and the foreigners (scrawny bearded dudes and hotties alike) are too busy dating/bathing in the affection of Japanese girls to even notice you.
Which leads to the above New Years Resolution: I want to find a girlfriend or boyfriend. It becomes a take what you can get kind of situation.




But this post is not going to be a direct rehashing of the oddity of foreign dudes winning big. Instead, I had taken it upon myself to do a bit of participant-observation (heavy on the participant aspect) based research on Japanese dating life (or dating in Japan), and these are my observations.

First let me begin with a bit of a disclaimer. I didn`t really intend on going out and joining the dating scene, primarily because although I did pray/wish for a boyfriend at a Japanese shrine a few weeks back I really have a pretty low interest in actually having a boyfriend right now. And somehow I think the concept of dating (not as boyfriend and girlfriend would blow the minds off of any Japanese chap). And yet somehow i have managed to scrape up a few small experiences to share, probably because whenever I see a gorgeous guy I cant help but blabber to him about how gorgeous he is. And so here you have it.



Observations

1) Dating fellow Foreigners in Japan
So, I figure I might as well tackle my observations on dating a foreigner in Japan first because it is maybe the easier of my observations to summarize. So the biggest difficulty of trying to date a foreigner in Japan is primarily due to the fact that there are so few foreigners living in Japan. Even less if your standard of foreigner is someone from a Western country and your chances drop a bit lower if your standard is a foreigner from an English speaking country (but to be fair these foreigners living/working in Japan are fluent in English anyway) . Say you do happen to find a fellow foreigner remotely near you in Japan. For the sake of simplicity lets use my life in Yamaguchi ken as the source of the stats I`m going to throw out. So in a prefecture with a population of about 1,700,000 people, I personally know of only 33 male foreigners and 19 female foreigners. So that means (assuming I did my math correct) you have a 0.0011% chance of meeting a female foreigner and 0.0019% chance of meeting a foreign male. The next roadblock is the fact that of those 33 males 57% of them are in some type of relationship. So your 0.0019% chance just dropped down to a 0.00008% hope. And if you are looking for a female, you are even more out of luck seeing as of the about 19 female foreigners again about 57% of them are in some form of a relationship which brings you to about a 0.00004% prayer of meeting an eligible female foreigner. Those are some pretty tough odds to beat. So I can understand why a (scrawny pale bearded) guy would easily jump at the opportunity of dating a lovely Japanese girl and leave those foreign girls (wherever they may be) to fend for themselves. And Likewise I can understand why a Japanese girl would be so eager to date her maybe not so aesthetically pleasing foreign male, seeing as she beat the nearly needle in a haystack odds of even finding a single foreign male, there is no room for being picky.

Personally, dating another foreigner in Japan becomes increasingly tricky when you dont just include the numbers but also factor in things like personal qualities. Ladies, just because you are living in a foreign country doesn`t mean you will become so increasingly desperate that you will throw all your dating standards to the wind, will it? I dont think so, and I dont mean `dating standards` in a purely superficial way. Looks do count of course but you also need to take into consideration that of those handful of eligible foreign men are you really going to find someone who has similar hobbies, interest (other than Japan), etc. Well, maybe not. And so now we reach the point that it becomes clear that maybe we should broaden our scope to include Japanese people.


Why cant it be this easy? (Note: maybe next post I will teach you how to make some adorbz origami cats)


2) Dating Japanese guys in Japan
These first set of observations generally follow the basic set of observations as dating a foreigner but...a little tweaked. Again I am basing these observations on my own life living in rural Yamaguchi prefecture. So although it may be easier to find a Japanese person living in Japan there are still a few qualities that need to be satisfied. Primarily being, that s/he is within the right age range and that s/he is not in a relationship of some sort. And for a number of foreigners like myself, the next most important thing is that they have some English speaking abilities (the language of love can only get you so far).
And for the rest I guess I will tell you some of my observations of `dating` (not quite the right word, but you`ll see) guys in Japan.

Since my arrival in Japan I have gotten a number of Japanese chaps asking if I would be interested in being their girlfriend (Note: this is not me saying that I am unbelievably gorgeous, as you will soon see). This is a bit surprising as a number of women before me who have worked in Japan experienced a notable disinterest that Japanese guys have in foreign women, click here for an example (and I think it is fair to note that it was this blog that got me a bit curious about dating in Japan). So, who were these brave chaps that dared to ask this alien of a foreigner out? Well, for the most part they were my students, to make matters worse my students range from age 7-16. So, having a 8 year old ask me if I want to be his girlfriend kind of doesn`t count. And having one of my 16 year olds tell me that they like me and would like to be my boyfriend is pretty equally terrifying. Do they seriously not realize how much older I am!!!! I`m all for being a cougar, but a 16 year old and a 22 year old, that is just obscene not to mention illegal in America! Obviously I didnt date any of my students, but what I did take from these experiences was the notion that shyness doesn`t seem like a good enough excuse as to why Japanese men avoid foreign women like the plague. If my students can ask me out, I sure would like to think that someone my own age would also have the courage to ask me out.

Apparently not so much. As I said I have been here for nearly 6 months and aside from my students, I think I have been asked out maybe four times (and I am certain that at least one of those times it was more of a joke than in earnest). But finally, FINALLY, i have had a bit of an experience of what it is like to actively participate (and observe) a bit of a dating scene in Japan. So here comes the story:

Last weekend I had planned to go to Iwakuni (about 25 mins away by train) to meet up with a few of my ALT friends since it would be the first time seeing each other after a fairly long winter vacation. So we decided to have dinner and some drinks at a small but delicious Japanese restaurant. Originally I had know that I would be having dinner with my friend Kris, Anneli, and Sarah it wasn`t until a bit later that I found out our group would be a bit larger. So at the restaurant us four girls and Matt (an ALT in Iwakuni who I had just met) had just begun our meal when our friends Miguel, Richard, and Jason enter followed by a gorgeous (Gorgeous!) Japanese guy. And being my typical embarrassing self my natural instinct is to turn to my girlfriends and whisper in a not so quiet voice, `Oh my gosh, do you see this guy. Who is he!?!?!? He is gorgeous!!!!`. Which elicited a number of giggles as I got increasingly louder and more excited. And my friend Kris, ever being the voice of reason replied `He is probably married or engaged.` (pause) `If nothing else he has a girlfriend`. This being the basic rule, if you should find a young attractive Japanese guy, more than likely he is 100% completely not available. It is about 10 minutes later that I find out not only is he gorgeous,and 21, but he can speak English surprisingly well (not to mention I took a good look at his hands and didn`t see a single ring on him) which again resulted in me hyperventilating over the fact that this is probably as close to an eligible bachelor I would ever come close to finding in Yamaguchi prefecture!!!! (Again my female friends laughing at my ridiculousness.)

So just to quickly recap: Young, Gorgeous, Speaks English, lives nearby. Perfect. Or so you would think. Throughout our entire dinner he hardly spoke a single word to me (let alone look at me!), maybe just to ask where I lived in Japan! I was near burst to slap Kris out of jealousy because gorgeous Japanese guy seemed to have no trouble chatting to her. uggggh. To make matters even worse I later over hear gorgeous Japanese guy telling our friend Richard, ` (something something something) yeah, she is studying to become a nurse`. At which point one of our friends who had arrived with afore mentioned gorgeous Japanese guy informed me that I was out of luck seeing as my `love interest` had a girlfriend (followed by a sound `told you so` from Kris). well shit. but maybe not complete shit, as I said before I don`t really care to have a boyfriend but it was nice to know that if I should`ve wanted one there would be a completely gorgeous english speaking potential boyfriend living up the road from me. And besides, just because he has a girlfriend doesn`t mean I cant flirt with him, right.? I figured if nothing else it could serve as some great insight into flirting with guys in Japan.

Well anyway this post is getting a bit long, so I suppose I should begin to cut to the chase. After dinner we ended up splitting off into two groups (my gorgeous Japanese crush leaving with the other group) and at some point in the night I made it clear to our friend Miguel that I was completely enamored (or something like that) with said Japanese guy and I didnt care if he made it known or not, as it turns out he had made it known. When they met up with the rest of us later Miguel made it a point to tell me that my crush thought that I was beautiful. Which sent me into a fit of giggles (or so) and also demands of why he wouldnt sit near me (hint: maybe because he has a girlfriend [duh])!?!?! Turns out Japanese guys are foolishly shy after Miguel had convinced my crush that I would not bite or harm him in any other way he decided to go ahead an sit near me in silence. After some light chat I fell into my usual behavior that occurs when in proximity to an attractive guy which is basically me gushing over how gorgeous he is for a good 5 minutes. At which point he finally decides to fess up and tell me that he thought I was beautiful. Long story short we ended up exchanging numbers (as friends!!!!). And I had been able to enjoy a night of shamelessly flirting with a handsome fellow for the first time in who knows how long. And learning a few key observations about dating in Japan: 1) It is hard to find a young, attractive, english speaking Japanese guy. 2) When you do find him he probably has a girlfriend. 3)He probably is ridiculously shy and the only way to be so abrupt as to make him talk to you is if you let him know that you are interested in him. 4)They are probably a stage 9 clingon.

The next morning
I receive a text that says he cannot stop thinking about me.
Later: I get a text saying that he has nearly fallen in love with me.
Later: He told his girlfriend that he has strong feelings for me.
The next day: He tells me he loves me. and that he wants me to be his girlfriend.
Later that same day he asks if he can drive down to see me that evening.

Any day now I am expecting a proposal of marriage.


What have I gotten myself into?
Dont pray for a boyfriend at a Japanese temple, more than likely you will get it.
I think (see: hope) I am still a 20 something single.
It`s not so bad to be a 20-something single in Japan.
Resolution: Sit back and enjoy my life as a 20-something single

Final Observation: Dating is too complicated.