Tuesday, January 29, 2013

What will it be?

A drawing by Yoshinori Takata and myself.
This was from a listening activity using comparatives.

In November, my supervisor at the BOE handed me my re-contracting forms and asked me if I would like to stay and teach another year.
Even prior to being officially offered another contract, a third year teaching in Oshima is something that has been weighing heavily upon my mind. I told my supervisor I would need time to think it over because I really wasn't sure at the moment if a third year is something I would be interested in doing. My supervisor understood and told me that he would need my final decision by February 1st.

With only a few days left until my decision needs to be made it came as no surprise to me that today after class my supervisor brought up the topic of the re-contracting forms. After briefly asking me how my classes had gone today my supervisor points to my re-contracting forms and tells me that if I need a little more time to decide, I can turn in my forms on the following Monday (Feb. 4th). After a moments pause to gather his thoughts he then says in his best English, " In a third year it is your happiness most important. It's your choice. Make your happiness choice". As much as I have heard these sentiments in their varying forms from friends and family it wasn't until I heard my supervisor saying them in his broken English that I really felt the impact of what these words mean.

I'm not sure if I believe in fate, but I'm not sure that I am convinced it  was mere coincidence that today- a day where I left school thinking about how much I love my students, even the trouble maker ones that cause me stress,- of all days would be the day that I would be so clearly directed to make the decision that makes me happiest.
I don't always love living in Japan. And I certainly don't always love living in Oshima. Heck, I don't even always love teaching. But one thing that I do know is that I love my students and I love to see them learning and progressing. It's often the small, nearly missable moments that makes my job feel so rewarding.  Like today when my first and second graders hosted a school fair for the older students. This was a free period, in substitute of a lunch recess, for the students to play fair/festival style games but as I walked through the gaming areas observing my students playing I could catch bits of English floating around: students counting out how many bowling pins had been knocked down, excitement over the prizes they won (cool/cute), and exclamations of "I'm winner".  Other times it is something more obvious that makes me realize how much I love teaching my students.  Many of my junior high school boys hate the fact that they are required to take English. Often when it is time to do speaking activities they will cheat and just show their friends the answer or tell them in Japanese what they are supposed to practice speaking. However, after some one-on-one practice to pronounce and understand the words on their worksheets they are at least a little more eager to try it out/show off to their friends. But the best feeling usually comes after, when in our next class these same boys will timidly raise their hands and ask me to come over and help them understand what a problem is asking instead of just copying off of their friends (or even worse) going to sleep.
Then of course there is also the blatantly obvious that serves as a daily reminder why I tolerate living in rural Oshima. The most egotistically rewarding part of my job, when I see my students reactions as I enter the school and English classroom. After about a year and a half of teaching them I assumed that my original novelty would wear off and that my students would begin to greet me with the standard mumbled "ohayo/konnichiwa" that most teachers receive. But no, everyday without fail my elementary students run through the halls (as fast as it is allowed) shouting, "Keri sensei", rushing to see who will be the first to get to me to say whatever English they can most easily recall that day (good morning, how are you, I'm cold, etc.) Even my most jaded of 3rd year junior high school students when looking up from whatever manga they are reading hidden inside of their English text book will give me a surprised "woah, keri sensei"as I enter the classroom, followed by a very brief smile before going back to their faux studying.  I don't know for certain how much of an affect I have on my students and their motivations to practice English, but I do know they have deeply affected me.

Even now after writing all of this I'm still not 100% sure which choice is the right answer for me. I'm certain that no matter what my final decision will be I will feel some degree of regret to either stay or to leave. Will I love living in Japan another year. Maybe, but maybe not. Will I love living in Oshima another year? Probably not. Will I be happy teaching my students for another year? Maybe not everyday, but there will be those days and those moments that makes the rest of the year and living in Oshima worth it. Is this post saying for certain that I will stay another year? Not at all. From the very first day back in November when I was asked if I would like to stay another year I knew my decision would not be made until the very last day when I draw out my signature and put the little tick next to  the box marked yes or the boxed marked no, and so it will be. I have a lot to think about still and even though I am leaning to stay one final year, I need to make sure that it is my "happiness choice"

Some photos from the school fair today


Prizes that students could win from the fair/gamebooths

Students seeing if they can complete the puzzles in 2 minutes to win a prize

One of the most popular games was this fishing game. There were 10 fishes with a metal paper clip inside them. Students had 1 minute and 30 seconds to catch as many with their fishing pole baited with a small magnet.

1 comment:

Ian C. said...

So I know you have the ability to figure this dilemma out on your own. But should you want to talk it over, even just to hear yourself tell someone else, we can talk/skype/whatever. My inadequate words of wisdom: Yes, your happy choice is important. Don't forget that what makes you happy now, or next year, may not be what you are called to do at that time. Your calling will also bring you happiness, indeed joy, as well as sorrow. In either case you will know that it is what you are meant to do. If you're not sure what your calling is, time to search your soul and pray. Maybe it's not time to know. Maybe it will be revealed to you in Japan next year, or somewhere else you are meant to be. As long as you're walking with HIM, you'll be in the right place to find out. God bless you sister.